Cows On Stairs
All-time honours
Player of the Year
Tommysthe1__
ST1302 goals, 550 assists and a 8.4 average across 804 games
Golden Boot
1302
Tommysthe1__
1302 goals in 804 appearances
Most goals scored
Bagsman
1.62
Tommysthe1__
1.62 goals a game — 1302 goals in 804 games
Best goals per game, minimum 20 appearances
Playmaker
550
Tommysthe1__
550 assists in 804 appearances
Most assists provided
Big Game Player
241
Tommysthe1__
241 man of the match awards from 804 games
Most man of the match awards per game, minimum 20 appearances
Highest Rated
8.4
Tommysthe1__
8.4 average across 804 games
Best average match rating, minimum 20 appearances
The Wall
265
Tommysthe1__
829 tackles at 32% success
Most tackles won
The Architect
84%
Tommysthe1__
84% accurate across 13072 passes
Best passing accuracy, minimum 500 passes
Clinical Finisher
49%
Tommysthe1__
1302 goals from roughly 2657 shots
Best shooting accuracy, minimum 30 shots
Mr Reliable
804
Tommysthe1__
804 appearances, more than anyone else in the squad
Most appearances for the club
The wooden spoons
Same record, read the other way. Every one of these needs a real field of candidates, so nobody collects one on a bad night.
Worst Player of the Year
6.7
Punjabiprince12
6.7 average across 288 games, and still picked
Lowest average match rating, minimum 20 appearances
The Fraud
172
Joeyad_13
172 goals on a 7.1 average, against a squad average of 7.4
Most goals, worst rating — the tally flatters the performance
Wasteful
8%
Punjabiprince12
8 goals from roughly 100 shots
Worst shooting accuracy, minimum 30 shots
Hospital Pass
74%
RJOK-STC
74% accurate across 6317 passes
Worst passing accuracy, minimum 500 passes
The Liability
21
RlphDog74
21 red cards in 591 games
Most red cards
The Selfish One
2.4:1
Tommysthe1__
1302 goals and only 550 assists
Most goals per assist — never squares it
The Ghost
0.11
Punjabiprince12
31 goals or assists in 288 games
Fewest goals and assists per game, minimum 20 appearances
Worked out from EA's record for all 8 players in the squad, 8 of whom have played at least 5 games. These are career totals for as long as EA has been counting, not a single season — EA does not publish season splits, and every one of these numbers resets when the next edition of the game arrives.
A quick word from the person who built this
Working these out means holding two readings of every squad in the country and diffing them, because EA publishes no season splits.
I've built and run Pro Clubs Tracker on my own this year — my own time, and my own money. If it has been useful to you or your club, it would be lovely if you could throw a few quid in.
FC 27 lands in a few weeks and wipes everything EA is counting right now. I would like to be here to catch it, keep the record, and do the whole thing again for the new one.